As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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