dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
