I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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