Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
