Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
