We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
