Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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