I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
