Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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