Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
