my being single is dangerous.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
