There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
