so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
