The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
