so explain again why im purple
no
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
