I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
