So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
