i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
