Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
