I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
