I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
