you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
