tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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