Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
