duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
