She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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