Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
