he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
