i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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