I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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