who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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