Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
