just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
