For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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