How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Boobs speak an international language.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
