And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
