Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
