felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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