I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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