I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
