it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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