i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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