If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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