Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
