after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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