chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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