My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
