I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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