I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
