I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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