i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
