Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
